Wednesday, February 28, 2007

2/28: I'm going to try to stop posting on here when I'm drunk or in the midst of frustration fits. I enjoy much of my life, but when I look at a bunch of my posts I seem to have had a tiny bit (just a lil' bit) of a problem in conveying that--because I was focusing on negative things. So... some good stuff, and people, I enjoy and appreciate:

My jobs: Even though a lot of my gallery work is making nitpicky details look good, it's been very good for me to have to buckle down and do things I don't like to do, including painting, at which I've become pretty good--or a helluva lot better than when I started in June. Most of the work (maybe not stuffing envelopes) requires brains. I see lots of art, hang lots of art, and my co-workers are all cool. My arborist is supremely cool; he's taught me lots and been patient. I love getting to work outdoors. I have sentimental feelings for physical labor, but I want to make a gazillion dollars, or enough to live the life I'm living right now as a semi-country boy in an urban world. And while tree work pays me twice as well as a day at the gallery, I haven't gotten off my ass to pursue my ISA certification, learn more about trees, and maybe find an additional tree job. I will, because it's time to stop moping and begin becoming.

Getting to live at Demon House, despite it's shortcomings and all my complaints, has been a dream. It's been magical for meeting remarkable people.

Mike: Practically my brother, a jerk for the ages, an amazing talent, he inspires me to try to live life in the moment instead of in my usual reserved observer position.

Rafal: Another brother, with a smiling heart and face who makes life fun for everyone around him.

Lara: A very special friend. I've been overlooking that fact for a while because I haven't wanted to see through the haze of negativity in my head. She's been my friend despite the juvenile and stupid crap I've thrown at her. It humbles me. That's more important to me than any other detail about the last 9 or 10 months. Because it's baffled me it's scared me too.

Now... to sleep. I must wake up in four hours to get ready for work.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

2/27: Alissa told me about this a couple of weeks ago and today I see it's on Lenny's Mid Atlantic Art News blog. ColorField remix is going on around DC beginning in April (even at my gallery). Check the website for more info.

Monday, February 26, 2007

2/26: These are a week old. Tonight I got drunk at the 9:30 Club.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

2/22: To those of you who have known me for a while, I welcome your thoughts on this.

In the summer of 2004 when I was working as a carpenter with my friend Scott, he pointedly told about Asperger's Syndrome but I disregarded what he said and kept on ticking. I didn't read about it until yesterday, after my friend who's been pushing me hard (in her beautifully goodnatured and caring way) to communicate with her, asked if I knew about it. I saw myself in the descriptions, but I feel that it's a very broad and vaguely defined syndrome that could apply to many people... and don't want to categorize myself just to feel misguided relief that there are others like me. I see how I've followed patterns of treating people poorly and have permitted myself (and been permitted) to get away with it and not look myself square in the eyes about it. That's bad, as I've run into major turmoil since my friend has been holding my toes to the fire (for which I'm grateful, believe it or not) because she's a talker (hehe! :) and I've not been talking. Instead I've treated her like my family, which means that I've been taking her for granted, exposing her to the full scale of my rapid mood cycles, and in general treating her badly. I definitely push the envelope in other relationships too: roommates have been very forgiving, co-workers have given me lots of leeway, friends accept and put up with me, but it's just not fair of me. I'm aware of it. I wish to change.
2/22: Saw Gym Class Heroes at 9:30 Club last night. Powerful stage presence, cocky but friendly and genuine, and their bassist could play with almost anyone--seriously deep bottom end. A good sold out show.

Tonight from 6-8PM is the first of three weeks of Corcoran College of Art + Design Fine Art Photo senior thesis openings. Should be good.

Spring is on its way! Snow is melting, tree work is being scheduled, animals and plants are slowly stretching themselves awake, the sun is working its way back, and the temperature is rising--albeit slowly--as someone said last night, it sucks that the mid-40s are considered warm. But it's good running weather... too bad my former running partner's a wimpy ex-Marine. ;)

I need to make a trip somewhere sunny and warm soon. I really should visit my sister in the sunshine state after she gets back from Vegas. Probably be a month or so before I can get away from work... thinking out loud. If I work the AIPAD Photography Show in NYC in April as I hope to, the spring may wind up being full of fun travel!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

2/20: Mike painted my portrait last night. This after an exhausting but inspiring day spent artwalking through both wings of the NGA with Mike and Maggie.

Monday, February 19, 2007

2/18: Went walking with Mike and Maggie. It was beautiful.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

2/17: Friday night was long. To bed a little ahead of sunrise Saturday, up in time for lunch and more drinking with a bunch of Raf's folks, then a respite before movies, wine, pizza, and snoozing on the couch under my sleeping bag with my awesome fellow Demons Alex and Rafal. Almost time to sleep again for a few hours. Thinking about getting a ticket to Florida for my birthday to see my little sister and catch some sun.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

2/15: Let me mention my amazing friends again. Friends of all degrees: close, closer, closest, good, random, weird, nerds, fools, jesters, boys, girls, urbanites, suburbanites, hicks--you all rule.

Demon House ran out of heating oil last night. It was cold. Oh so cold. But not under my immensely thick bedcovers! Whooo for natural materials! Give it up for wool! And how about a big Hey-O! for down sleeping bags! The dude came and got our heat running again right after I got home this evening and engagingly explained the functions of our ancient steam furnace. Very cool.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

2/14: Worked a couple of hours today at my old Dupont gallery's new space at 18th and P, where they are now officially installed and almost at full-speed.

Deep slush sucks to walk in! Even with Gore-Tex shoes I got wet feet coz it was too much fun to take a chance and jump a puddle and of course it was a little wider than just the pool of visible slush... it extended into the snowier slush. Whoops! ;) It sucked to drive last night too, but I felt like driving. Got stuck behind plows on I-66 so traffic went 20mph. Whee. ; This afternoon I shoveled a path down the sidewalk to our corner and into the street so people wouldn't have to get slush feet. Damn that's nice of me. Probably also a legal responsibility of the resident or at least the owner... but nobody gets fined around here.

Talked about running again with Mike. Need to. It's good to have friends. When I feel so damned alone it's the end of the world. I forget that the people with whom one spends the most time usually know you best and if they still hang out with you they must like you a lot. I've been mostly out of touch with my family in recent months as I've been trying to get established doing something of my own for once. And I've spent a while (9+ months), in my typically irrational manner, infatuated with a young woman.

I need a drummer. A bad-ass drummer--doesn't have to be a Carter Beauford sized kit, just be able to effing rock and be tasteful too. And someone (or two?!) who makes amazing noise with a guitar. A combination of Tim Reynolds, Vernon Reid, Bill Frisell, David Rhodes, The Edge, Prince, and maybe Django.

There's an article on The Washington Post today about girls and emotional attachment.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

2/11: Writing in bed. Just wrapped up a stretch where I worked 17 out of 20 days.

Drove Mike to Dave WTNR/Smooth and Rose's apartment-warming party in SE last night where we stayed a few hours. A rollicking good party. Cool new apartment, fun beats, lots of drinks, and plenty of partiers. Personally I'm fucking everything up these days and letting it affect everything I do to some extent, so I didn't enjoy myself that much... particularly since I was driving and could only have an early beer. But it looked like everybody else enjoyed themselves immensely, which is what having a good party is all about. Thanks Dave & Rose!

I think I'm going to borrow a phat Nikon DSLR from the generous Mssr. Combs in the next couple of days. That should help me get creative, perhaps unlock and free my internal web of frustrations from the chains with which I shackle them. Maybe they'll disperse/dissipate/disappear/dissolve for a few weeks. Also towards that end today I said fuck it and plugged my loud Trace Elliot amp in and played along with some songs for an hour when the house was mostly empty. While it sounded stupid as usual, at least it felt good. When I haven't played in months I'm always amazed how my fingers and ears retain their connection for knowing where to go to make what sounds.

Gomi, you should have some cool mail by mid-week.

Targit, sorry I've been out of touch in recent weeks.

Ibbits, I may try out those Eye St folks.

Corey-san, hope you're doing well, haven't felt like talking in recent weeks, too many things floating through my head to deal with other people's floating thoughts.

I'm hungry. My nice little nap was interrupted by a phone call from my landlord, so I better fill him in about the leak.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

2/7: Still digging through old digi's, + a few '07's that finally made it.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

2/4: Super Bowl Sunday saw a handful of Alex's friends, and Rafal's buddy Max stop by to join Demon House (Mike saw two ghosts today) rez Alex, Maggie, Mike, Rafal and me. Colts Win, Colts Win!

Friday, February 02, 2007

Thursday, February 01, 2007

2/1: RECENT snaps: R St, T St, self-pic in front of one of my European photos.

One RECENT freezing cold night Mr. Combs TRAVELLED great LENGTHS to be treated to Mike's delightful pasta dinner. Katie (former Demon House doyenne) also contributed her smiling presence. A rousing good time.

After a quarter of a century at one address, a premier DC gallery is moving a few blocks next week, and I've RECENTLY spent a few days boxing their belongings. Today they surprised me by giving me an awesome book I've wanted for a while, Jane Livingston's The New York School: Photographs 1936-1963. I'm very excited!

Tonight I ate dinner in Dupont with the girl about whom I tend to write vaguely. ;) We caught the Take Action Tour 2007 at 9:30 Club, primarily to see Kaddisfly. They're very good. Having seen them twice, I still don't know what make their bassist plays; it's an odd shape and has a huge amount of dense looking wood that creates a very deep, sensuous, tone.